WEEK Nr something

Another week closer to end of the year. With writing part left to do, soon as POP up SHOP experience will be out of the way.

I went into college today and experience a proper rage between students and negative emotions.

I’m not sure if I need to talk about it, but probably that somehow reflects of what I do and studies itself. Long story short, there is some people on my course that care less for tutor impact and there is some who do care. To see its all kicking off is sad, but probably inevitable.

Sometimes I do feel this becomes more as a diary and not study reflections, but I’m not sure how to change that.I would love if I could find some other student reflective journal, that would give me an necessary boost of my own ideas, but as much as I been searching, I can’t find any.

VISUAL STUDIES

Oh, and why I’m not surprised, that week past and no-one read the piece I give for the feedback. Luke – asked me to send it again, Lance said I am going in the right direction, which need to be explored more.

I do like Luke`s input in our studies. I enjoy talking and listening sessions, which helps me get to know other people more and what they do, as to be honest we nearly close to the finishing our first year, but hardly know each other. However, Luke have problems of reading my report. As artist I hate my paper being boring. For Luke it’s not an option, plain text clear pictures, no different fonts – no adding colour. I’m not very happy about that, but well there is nothing I can do OR??? I’m thinking to make two reports, one in my style and give this to Lance who will actually mark it and one to Luke. Not sure if its good idea, but I want my expression of how I feel my report should look not go wasted.

I know I should be more worried about the content, but I’m feeling like falling already. It won’t be good enough anyway, only because I lost that feeling. When I started the book, I was looking for inspiration, I thought I did find it, but all what happened, with tutor change and change the curse of assignment itself, it all lost a meaning for me. Everything now for me is just to get a pass and I’m not like that – I always give 100 % in everything I do, but I can’t pull myself to do it this time. Today in the session some people were giving so inspiring talks about her work and what they are researching in the report. I felt like I have nothing, I don’t do nothing worth of mentioning as I have no passion for this assignment.

The problem also is that I still don’t know which direction of art I’m going. I wish I know like others, but I don’t. I love my abstract paintings, but something is missing. I love painting flowers in oils, but it doesn’t give me enough texture and feel I’m after. I’m a bit down today as I see that everyone, has their thing, but I’m still looking, and I have no much time left, I’m too old to be searching for the right moment and right direction, I don’t know what to do.

FINE ART

Is POP up SHOP week

I finish my big painting last week – took me a while as it’s me, who needs change things.

 I started all with stretching canvas. I idea initially was to make it look unfinished by not stretching canvas properly. It’s all went well till the point I felt it’s not good enough.

Going for landscape I just overdone it again. I chose oils, went for earthy colours, wanted to create early spring landscape, but it just didn’t feel right, so one morning, I turned it over and started again. This time making marks and not painting. My family said that it improved a lot.

My opinion, there is lots to be done. It’s not finished up to my standards and its really meaningless. I call it four seasons, as to make that as my small pain ting combination. Other than that, there is nothing I can be proud of, unfortunately.

Art page I fallow made some positive comments, which I don’t think I deserved, but hey– my aim is to get this to our craft fair and after changing it into something else. That’s of course if I don’t sell it, if I do, it will be surprise of the year for me.

It’s not that I don’t like it, people create more shocking pieces, but I just don’t thing is good enough even for abstract thing. It’s strange as I like it better than first version, but I have to be honest not wanting to create unfinished painting, I did it 100% as for me it’s far from finish, I suppose that’s makes it good outcome for assignment.

I would love to - if someone ever reads it, to leave me a comment about this, it would be really, really helpful.

I discussed this with one of good artists I know, she said I’m right that there is lots to be done regarding changing it, but overall she liking the colour and vibrancy, so – if I ever get a chance to make it into something else I will keep you posted.

Meanwhile All set and ready !