Nearly the end...

I have been neglecting this blog for months, with so many other things going on so as another blog alongside it is no surprise really. I’m not a dairy girl – I mentioned that right from the start.

“Learning through reflection: the critical role of reflection in work-based learning “– that’s all hear from everywhere.

Reflection is like “looking back” and examining the past in order to learn from what happened and perhaps not repeat mistakes and so on…

I know it is part of my degree program - enable me to process and make meaning of all of the great (and not so great) learning and working experiences I’m having, but not everyone stands to gain from engaging in some type of reflection. 

My reflection is more with myself then expressed in here – it is my feelings my thoughts my worries. I spoke to some other students from my course and all like one are struggling with this particular assignment. I did try to keep track, but I’m very behind now … and sorry…

Recalling what have I done!!

Well, today is 22^ndof April – two and a half months after my last entry. So far, I nearly finished my Personal development blog – consisting of deep self-analysis, my skill survey and five-year plan. I still need it to send it to proofread, but so far, its only a few improvements so I considering that’s to be done.

The group project also is nearly over as next week our pieces going up in joined exhibition – all its left to do is a matter of evaluation.

I also today actually finished my painting, which turned out quite well – so it’s really pleasing, there is always can be b better outcome, but I don’t want to be very critical about it as I tried my best past few weeks. The million-dollar question is: if my course mentors will like it.

My final steps are to evaluate and finalise my sketchbook, as I been practising and developing different methods and techniques and it is heaps and stacks of material which needs to go in.

 How did it go??

Honestly – it’s been a struggle, not because of the amount of work, but because of a number of other things going on besides my studies. 

I found lack of time very unsettling. I pleased with my painting overall, but now its writing part whats left and thus 2000 words don't come easy for me in the perfect sentence.

I did a lot as in previous projects, followed my checklist - every week with edited with new tasks - its sort of kept me on track. I feel I am still on time for handing everything in two weeks time as long as I do my part of writing each day from now.

I would like to give my evaluation to proofread before the final hand in, but time is limited on this one.


A deeper analysis of my work I will leave to evaluation - so far its been experimenting with different materials, media and colour which I will return in last entry of my blog.


Overall two weeks are left of my studies, the three-year-old journey is taking a break and I so looking forward it.

Half term – exploring Ireland

After quite busy weeks of researching, gathering ideas about my final and so as other study related tasks I took the time off to visit my best friend in Ireland. 

Such a beautiful country, with amazing scenery. You would think the culture would be the highest level. In my surprise, it’s not as I hoped. My friend come to Ireland as an interior designer, she can do fashion as well, but Irish seems to be very simple in their choices. 600 years under English developed a fear of new and simplicity in style. She has never been able to find work in her specialty as no one needs that.

A country with amazing heritage has not developed a need for Fine art or its related matters. There are only a few galleries and auction houses. Mostly high end and government supported. 

When I thought England’s arts and crafts market is struggling – Ireland seems to be worse. I can’t say for sure there isn’t local small craft business trying to make a living, my google search did find some, but what I understand from my friend, who’s been there for 12 years and whose daughter finished art school – just to do social work – struggle is real. 

Economically country approaching a better level, according to my friend, but it's not the case of visual arts. The younger generation visual culture is now predominantly screen and internet-based, so there is not yet an emergent art-buying generation in Ireland, leaving the art market under pressure.

Performing arts - song and dance of the region and the other artforms that relate to these disciplines, such as story-telling -seems to have better response and it gets also more support from government.

Such contrast with Sweden, which I visited just a few months ago. Where culture, handmade crafts and art ware very valuable and popular - especially in the young generation.

I loved Ireland and will go back, but perhaps mainly for breath-taking landscape and amazing history. Hope in years to come there will be more interest in Fine Art as this is the only thing that was really missing

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I’m not OK, but it’s OK…

How strange, that few days can change everything. How I feel, what I think about the upcoming future and whole my life generally.

I know I’m a very pessimistic person, but it is a reflection from my childhood and there is no much I can do about it. I would say I’m an oversensitive pessimist.

I got some of my results back. They are not bad, but not good either. A subject I thought I will have lover mark I got a distinction. A module which I was enjoying I got only pass. Today's one to one session with a tutor (had to admit – fist in two years) showed that my perspectives are not great. My work is not big enough, my attendance is low, my participation in class is equal to 0. 

After years in the same college I feel so low that if I could, I would never go back. I know I’m overreacting and it’s all not that bad, but there is part of me know now – I’m not right for this course, I never have been. Three years ago, when I came back – all I wanted was to take ceramics short courses, but I was talked into taking foundation diploma fallowing foundation degree and here I am not strong enough to really be a higher education student.

I haven’t applied yet for next year and I doubt I will – there is no point. My gallery, other jobs, and family need as much time uni work and there are not enough hours in the day. 

If I never had a gallery, I would go for Birmingham Fine art course, but the convenience of traveling a short distance and familiar college seemed back then like a safe zone. And here I am killing my creativity over describing, analysing, researching, writing – doing everything, but not much of an art and doing it wrong anyway.

So know I don’t know what to do….I always had this plan, take a top-up year – finish the course etc. Now everything seems different, seems impossible to do that and try to jiggle my other life commitments. Next year lease on gallery premises runs out and maybe I will need to take a break till then – and try to find top up year somewhere else…

WEB development

As I still haven’t had full understanding about our FMP I leave it aside, while my brain process some ideas in this subject. 

In meantime our small module task as I call it - so far going quite smoothly.

As I mentioned in previous blog entry, aim of this project was to collaborate with other students in order to present, display our work to wider audiences – that could lead us to exhibition, catalogue making, another blog and so on … As time always is the deal breaker, we all decided website should do just fine.

I was lucky enough to have a friend with the heart internet unlimited account, so web itself didn’t cost me a thing. I sort of do website updates and market research for living, as my gallery business is just my expensive hobby, so I sort of volunteered with putting information and making appearance – other course mates will gather needed information and chase first years for their stuff.

Our team consist only of 4 people me, Kevin Lauren and Emilly… no much of us left…

So there is sort of images of skeleton – I went for simple style with less is more and I quite like it, everyone else also approve it.

More to fallow…on http://www.creativeap.co.uk

New year ahead

Second week into our course for this year.

I have to say hearing briefly module descriptions and assignments what comes with it I’m glad to hear there is no much essay writing, more like progress file creative making.

My creative writing skills perhaps are one I doubt the most and whenever there is an essay, I struggle to find the right words, which someone else haven’t already used…

So, it begins with DEVELOPMENT FILE and 5-year plan…

As I understand it will consist of all our knowledge so far, how we have grown and where we are heading, what we are doing now and what we hoping to do, which is quite important to know really!!...

Besides this all our development review should be organised on blog bases or sketchbook, I think I’m going for Blog this time alongside with small scrapbook files. Because I found this method last year was working well for me.

The five-year plan is going to be challenging as I have a slight idea for the next two years, but rest I am not so sure as anything can happen.

Below this module, there is also another group project to undertake. Working together we need to showcase somehow our work – whether its exhibition – blog, book etc

Knowing how long to takes to set up an exhibition never mind to find the right place for it - so as how much is involved of creating a book, we decided to go for a website instead, where our works can be viewed by larger audiences and that way to make our work more accessible, because let’s face it, all things is online now, even an exhibitions.

As I have a friend who holds a web account, he will happily just set me up, for no extra charge….by next week I will come up with domain name and sort of skeleton of a website, so bear with me for some further links…

Tomorrow we will find out our module description for Major project….so more to follow in a separate entry by end of this week.

I have a few ideas, but I need to make sure of the general requirements for this module.

Handing in part 2

Just before new year I manage to finish my painting, I’m not entirely happy, but not being well (to be honest I’m sick of repeating this) I am still happy about how it turned out.

More I look at it more I like it, - it’s my usual ritual, put painting where I can see it and day after day passing it. Different times a day creates different effect. Also artificial light makes it look it also different. For me is very important to agree with myself if I like it, or not - if it looks alight in different light and finally if I would like to hang it up on my wall?!

There are main criteria I fallow after finishing my work and I have to be 100% sure.

I’m sure – still think it could be better, but there is always next time as all is a learning process throughout experience and mistakes, so I’m sure it I will put more effort on my next project

 I call it “Reach for the Sky”, but there is no obligation it is only my opinion, viewers can decide what they can see.